“Well done, I’m really proud of what you’re doing”, the words we all want to hear from the people in our lives. However, how often do you hear this? I mean, there have been days where I’ve wanted someone to tell me this just for getting out of bed in the morning or for doing some exercise, for choosing not to eat that sweet treat eyeing me. I’m smiling to myself at the thought of it because it sounds a little silly but it’s so true. Don’t we all love the idea of a personal cheering squad to celebrate our victories with? No? How about just one valued person telling you that you’re doing a good job? Sorry but it’s not always going to happen, and you’ll often have to clap for yourself.

You must be your own cheering squad, not because the people around you don’t care but because they don’t truly know what you’re going through or have had to do to get where you are. As a self-professed sweet tooth, not eating that extra cookie was a good decision towards my ultimate goal of cutting down on sugar to be healthier. Did it warrant a pat on the back? Absolutely! However, not from someone but from myself. I had to celebrate myself and here is why.

It reinforces your goals and helps build good habits. The human brain is geared towards understanding positive commands and reinforcement, especially when laying the foundation. By consistently celebrating the good choices we make the brain will start to build new neuropathways that will associate those actions with something positive. Consistency is key here and you get to choose how you celebrate, whether it’s a small “well done” whispered to yourself or an all-out happy dance. Do whatever feels right in the moment. You want your body and brain to know that what you’ve done is good and that way it becomes easier and easier to do it again. Remember though that it’s not a quick fix but with time and consistency you’ll get there, you are after all laying that foundation in building a better and stronger self.

Clapping for yourself builds character and resilience. Whether you have an amazing support structure in family and friends or not, it’s exhausting to expect their constant support or encouragement. Life happens and they can’t always be there physically or emotionally, even if they might want to be. No, you are the only permanent person in your life thus having a great relationship there is paramount. They might not know everything that’s going on, but you do, so it’s more viable to cheer for yourself when you know that you need it. I’m not saying that you need to rely only on yourself, but you need to be strong enough to get yourself through when the people around you can’t be there. However, does this apply to instances where those around you won’t be your biggest fans?

I recently spoke to a retired Rugby Sevens player, and he told me about the criticism he faced in his career both locally and internationally. He told me that being a professional sportsman can be a very lonely place, especially through bad games and injuries. Being criticized by strangers and having insults hurled at you is painful, you need to build coping mechanisms. He said, “I learned later in my career to pat myself on the back more. We are so quick to look at the negative and all our mistakes that we forget to praise ourselves when we achieve something or do well”. Now, I don’t know about you but I’m nowhere near being a professional athlete, but it rings true that we need to be strong for ourselves in whatever areas we need it. Be your own cheer squad and when you feel that you really can’t be then tell people what you need.

We all have at least one person in our lives that we feel would be there in our corner when needed, not necessarily to fight for us but to lift us up. However, as amazing as these people can be, they can’t read your mind. You need to open your mouth, no matter how difficult it may be, and tell them what you need. Open communication is key here. You need to tell them not only when you need cheering on but also how you need cheering on. Need a simple “well done” or a high five? Tell them! You will get the specific encouragement you need to move forward, and they will feel supportive by being able to give it to you, it’s a win-win if you ask me. Don’t forget though to return the support when they need you and that way a healthier cycle of care can be generated.

By learning to cheer ourselves on we’re able to build ourselves up through encouraging behaviors we want to cultivate and becoming resilient in the challenges we face to get there. Life can be arduous and sometimes we face circumstances that question our very existence, but this is where we have to dig deep and become our own biggest fan. However, it’s OK to admit that you don’t have the reserve to muster clapping for yourself and this is where you need to speak up and ask for a hand, call on those around you to help celebrate and encourage you. As people we are geared toward positivity and connection, by learning to rely on ourselves as well as others we can connect and uplift each other. So go ahead and clap for yourself. You are #beautifuluniqueloved